Wild West

Exciting night! We had a shoot out in front of our door!

It appeared to be a machine gun shooting

Mees and me where lying together in the big bed only 6 meters away

We thought it was fireworks...

Look at http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/21187887/__Dode_bij_schietpartijen_A_dam__.html

The second time in my life I'm confronted with a gun shooting!

My health:

My body is holding fluids due to a high blood pressure in my lungs

Problem areas are my feet and behind my lungs

Resulting in really short breath and appreciating my Uggs more and more

Foutje, bedankt!

Parool, zaterdag 22 december 2012

The Maya's made a wrong prediction

The world still exists

Mijn foutje leidde wel tot een ziekte

Doomsday

It's Friday 21st of December 02.50 uur

Still it's not the end of the world

Bummer! I thought all my problems would be solved.

We would all go down together!!!

But you never know, still 21 hours to go...

O, Denneboom

HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!

Love this time of year

Love my Christmas tree

A story with almost every Christmas ornament hanging in the tree

Tomorrow Kik and Mees will buy their ornaments for this year

Me and my health;

My stupid left lung is not working as it should

At home I now have 24/7 oxygen

My view

Our weekend was great. 

It was a culinary weekend.

1st evening.... Cuichine was very nice

Saturday we had brunch in Antwerp and did some Christmas shopping

2nd evening we dined at Kint&Co

And to finish it on sunday we had a Slow Food Lunch at Kint&Co

In between we were at the house sitting in front of the fire place 

So this was my view during all the diners

Nice view

The only bummer this weekend was that I had some new pains

So while we waited in hospital yesterday

I had the same nice view: this handsome guy

We were at AVL all day, from 10 to 5

No chemo because the doctors wanted to know where the pains came from

So all day long tests, waiting, waiting, talks, waiting, waiting, treatments

Results:

too much blood pressure in my lungs

So they gave me another pill

Burn baby burn

Esther burned one in Maastricht

Away

Yesterday afternoon we already sat at the fireplace at Jacq's and DJ's country house.

Went to a really nice restaurant in Antwerp, "Cuichine", eating fried soft shell crab, yummie

Woke up with the sun on the fields (now gone...)

It's nice to be away with the two of us

It gives us a little bit of peace of mind

Feeling weird

Strange days

Are it the long dark days before christmas?

I feel really strange

How do you go on living with "strange"

I told a friend that it feels like a "vacuum"

I try to go out

Today a walk in the park and "appeltaart" at the Espresso Fabriek

Tomorrow with Ruud to Zeeuws Vlaanderen. Time together!

♫♫ The hills are alive ♫♫

Just in Dutch:

Wie heeft de gouden tip?

Ik wil heel graag met de kinderen, kan buiten schoolvakantie's om, naar een zeer fijn familiehotel (of heeft iemand nog een andere accommodatie in gedachten) in de bergen.

Mijn wensen lijstje is:

Niet belachelijk duur (liever budget)

klein ski gebied, overzichtelijk

Familiehotel incl. diner en ontbijt aan de piste

Ik wil met vliegtuig en dan maximaal 1 uur in auto tot hotel

Ik kan namelijk niet veel dus voor mij moet het makkelijk bereikbaar te zijn, fijn naar mijn kinderen kunnen kijken, genieten van de bergen

And some candles can't hurt

A dear friend, Jacqueline, in China

Marieke in Teipei

Bring them on!

Heaven

"Dessert Heavenly Mud"

Dining out in our own home

Jet & Jan cooked us a dinner. And stayed to eat it.

Weather Alarm

Yesterday no "Weather Alarm" in Amsterdam

Went for a realy nice walk with Doet and the dogs

Sun, snow, dogs and talk

What else can one want?

I'm feeling strange

Could it be the long, dark, days before Christmas?

First snow

Can you see it?

We went out around midnight

First snow this season

Shall we wake up the kids

They would love it!

Nope, We lett the dogs out and now to bed!

A little sunshine

Mom was here to spend some time. I took the chance to go out with her and the dogs

We had crispy cold sunshine

Hadn't been out of the house in two weeks so it was time.

Some sweet love from the kitchen

Ruud made us yesterday

Guinea fowl (parelhoentje) in pancetta with fennel and tagliatelle....yummie

Zie de maan schijnt door de bomen

My favourite three

"Sinterklaas" in The Netherlands

The start of a warm time, one of my favourites

Next weekend all my beautiful decorations will find their place in the christmas tree

Something to look forward to

Today I heard I will change my chemo from 2 weeks up and 1 week free to chemo every week!

Every monday!

So no christmas holidays for me. 

But hopefully something that works.....

Morfine addict

Thursday late afternoon AVL thought I could go home again

I had my own morfine pump

"Thuiszorg" was arranged

Happy to go

Have to get used to the bag hanging day and night on my hips

With a tube going into my arm

It is so really sick

It shows

Hospital. The sequel

Monday back in hospital.

I had my chemo and afterwards a talk with my oncologist.

I told her of my severe pains. 
She thought it was better to take me in and solve the problem. 
If possible at all.

I'm a real drug addict now.

A morphine pump will be permanently attached to my arm.
And I will be carrying a little case with me that regulates the medicine. 
Hate it. 
But it's way better then to be in pain all the time. 
I hope the hospital will let me go home tomorrow. 
Fingers crossed.

It's an update

This week not much activity on my blog

This was my "good week" 

A quiet week

Had qualitytime with my niece, Sophia

We went to the nailstudio

For some fine nail art :-)

Had a nice walk in the park with Doet and the dogs

Went to my shrink

And yesterday Ruud, me and the kids got a little tattoo... only for me

Afterwards we went out for dinner at Fa. Speijkervet, nice!

Really good restaurant in our own neighbourhood

Today a really bad day

Lung problems, no breath, no energy

Voice of Holland

Doreen arranged that we could visit Voice of Holland on fridaynight, frontrow

Children loved to see it live

I loved to see my children

Alles gaat voorbij ♫♫

Thursday I got a "kraantje" (Piccline)

The Piccline is good to have when you have chemo for a prolonged period of time

It was a little operation and had to come back on friday for a check-up

It is weird to have a permanent catheter

But after two years of molesting my veins it was time

Special time

This weekend was really nice

The kids went shopping with Opa and Oma

Special time for us all

Sunday we went to the beach with the dogs. How nice!

Again special time

Monday my chemo and I slept till yesterday evening

Today I crawled from my bed and visited the park, with sun!

Time flies when you sleep a lot

But I have my happy moments

Yummy

Yummy, I started my new chemo today! And I almost looked forward to it because the tumors are hurting so much (no, the morfine can't help) that I need a chemo to reduce them.

Yummy is also the Lasagna one of our friends made.

I told once before what should we do without a little help of my friends  ♫  ♫

Marieke who also can sing the song beautiful is cooking for us every chemo day.

I feel also tired of this chemo but till up now I feel fine

The lungs of Holland

We sneeked out for the weekend

We went to the lungs of Holland

Better known as "De Veluwe"

We spent the weekend at the family house of a dear friend

The house has been build in 1920 for my friends great, great grandmother
 who was ill and needed the fresh air of the woods, so Sissi

It was wholesome for me too :-)

The weekend had all the good ingredients:

All my life I dream of houses where you just walk out of the door, 

put on your boots and can have magnificent walks. 

So, walking

Sitting at a fireplace

having nice dinners

Being with loved ones

Tomorrow my new chemo starts. Gemcitabine.

Keep u posted!

At ease

My internist wanted me to start last wednesday with the new chemo

I needed some time to adjust and asked Dr. Lin if I can start next tuesday. No problem

I wanted these extra days to reset my mind

Because of the pain I'm not able to do much

I can drive to the park to walk the dogs

But my doctor officially forbid me to drive a car since thursday

Bummerrrrrr

That gives me peace of mind, try to catch a walk with the dogs

Then in the afternoon I have to sleep so I'm fresh and fruity when the kids come home

That is how my week looked like, fine

Today it was pre christmas. Two friends dropped by unexpectedly, bearing gifts

Nice!

Now I'm off to bed. Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite

Love vs Cancer

This week is a heavy one.

Now you may think: she has been having heavy weeks since october 2010 (nag, nag, nag)

True. Not once did I get good news. 

A very depressing blog indeed. 

Unfortunately no good news today either. 

 I am in so much pain. Pain of the tumors in my upper body. 

And yesterday my oncologist told me that the chemo we started after the holidays also does not work for me.

So no more Vinorelbine. And that's very disappointing. 

 I have to start on a different kind of chemo a.s.a.p. 

This time it is Gemcitabine.

Let's hope it works. 

Maybe I will start tomorrow, but I hope next tuesday.

I will not stay gloomy. 

Because as long they have medicine's to fight this one, I will keep on fighting.

My mom keeps on fighting my cancer with quilts of love

This quilt she gave Kikki today. Beautiful.

But mostly very nice to have on the couch and to sleep under.

Blogging

You didn't hear from me for a long time 

Sometimes it's stupid to write on my blog

This is one of the moments, weeks, actually

We went to friends in Paris in my "good" week

I could do that because I could sleep in the afternoon, before dinner and go to bed early

So each day I could do something fun (with a little help from my friends)

Decadent tea at Ladurée with Kikki, Nina and June

A stroll in the park with our designer dogs

And even to the top of the Eiffel Tower! (fun with Marieke, Pieter and kids)

Paris was really nice and cosy!

But back in Amsterdam another chemo

and when I should fell better on thursday I didn't

I have a lot of pain, I think my lungs again

So next monday they will check whatever is wrong now

And that's why I don't want to blog! I want to write that I'm feeling all right!

I woke up in the middle of the night

My skin didn't feel as soft as this rose tonight ( I got the rose from Shara, isn't she beautiful?)

My chemo has an other side affect

I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible itching skin

I went upstairs, had something to eat and put a lot of menthol powder on my skin

It kept on itching till the alarm clock woke me up

My days are getting better. So that's a good thing!

Looking forward to Paris. Not able to walk all day but little actions are possible.

Like having decadent tea at Ladurée for example

We take our designer dog with us :-) How Parisienne...

Fall

Time for a Carrot Cake

He's yummie!

How did I go this week?

The chemo makes me tired, but that you already knew

I get my chemo's every monday. 2 weeks up, 1 week down.

If I have my chemo I sleep till wednesday morning but this wednesday I had a bad case of "something I don't want to say with this nice picture of a carrot cake above"

Thursday this was resolved, I was happy!

The last 3 days feeling better then I did since july!

That is something!

On a date with my dad

We went to the hospital for my weekly chemo

I watched a new serie on my IPad "Damages"

And dad read the VI

Feeling tired, slept till now since yesterday

But that is one of the side effects of this chemo

Golden tip

We have been to Paris already a couple of times with the kids

This fall we will go again

Ruud goes with Pierre and Mees to Paris Saint Germain (Paris soccer club...)

But has anybody a golden tip to do there with the kids? Something "off the beaten path"?

We have done already all you can think off with kids there, so something new and refreshing?

day before

Mees was to Ajax

Doreen an me went to the "heide" with the girls

And with our baby dog Nilli

Felt a little off this weekend. Ofcourse tired but also a little feverisch

When does it ever stop...

But Doreen took care off the kids while I could rest, that was nice

tomorrow another chemo