Under the sea ♫♫

Went with Kikki to the musical The Little Mermaid

♫ The seaweed is always greener ♫
In somebody else's lake
♫ You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake ♫
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
♫ What more is you lookin' for? ♫

Chilling in Bakkum

I'm at Bakkum with Mees and a friend. 

I take it easy! On a sunbed under the trees. Boys have fun!

No news about new meds. My tumors are not mutated. That means I will not enter the trials they had planned for me. Now I will have to wait till my meeting with head of trials, Prof. Schellens. 

He will tell me (hopefully before Italie) what will be waiting for me when I get back. 

Another trial or a weekly infuse?

Lavender

Nothing much to tell.

My oncologist called today but no results yet.

We will have another try on wednesday afternoon

I will go away for a few days with Mees and a friend of him.

Kik is going elsewhere with Madelief.

In the meanwhile I make another lavender pie

Cake of the day

Sticky blueberry lavender pie.

I'm not feeling so blue as the last weeks. 

Talking to my oncologist Dr. Linn helped getting things in perspective.

I will hear next week if I'm compatible with one of the trial medicines. 

The doctors will not put me on new medicine before our vacation.

So the next 6 weeks will be fairly quiet except for the pains I have.

But I got some xtra drugs. For the first time in my live I'm an addict :-)

Girls just wanna have fun

Because the moms just wanna have fun

"Tye Dye project"

Make your own Isabel Marant jeans :-)

The look of love ♫♫

I Am(sterdam) not any further

Yesterday at the 'I Amsterdam'-logo in Westerpark with Kikki, Mees and Madelief.

Today I visited the hospital to learn more about the kind of tumor I have. 

The doctors are trying to find out how the tumor mutates. 

And when the results are in, dr Linn wants to see if she can get me in an experimental programme for a very new medicine that sort of stops this wrong mutation. 

The big question now is: Is my tumor 'suited' for this new kind of medicine?

Today we went in to hear the results. Unfortunately the results are late. Shit happens. 

Had I only known. I would have slept a lot better. 

I had a nervous and aching stomach all weekend.

But my visit to Dr. Linn wasn't a complete waste of time. 

Doreen and I asked a lot of questions and got answers. 

So I'm a little more relaxed now. 

I will have another meeting with my doctor before I go to Italy 

so I will know what the plan after the vacation will be. 

No new meds before 'Airole'

I bake cakes

This one is goooooood!!!

Lemon Ginger Cake!

The black colour is not burned but a Hipstamatic photo filter.

Auwch

Be happy that I didn't made a picture from the Biopsy they took from me this afternoon. 

Fuck fuck fuck fucker the fuck that hurts!

Love Hope Faith

Irena wanted to buy Elderflower Syrup from me. 

But for the people who I love and help me it's not for sale. 

They get it for free. 

 But this time we traded it, syrup for art on a kitchen towel.

it's called; love hope faith

Will I use it as a kitchen towel. I don't know yet.

It's too beautiful

Again surfing, surfing

End of season party of Mees his soccer team. Kik went along with a friend. 

They are going to be a pro surf dude and girl in the meanwhile.

For me. I had a nice weekend. Bought a new bike.

A nice sunday on the beach.

Only the pain is annoying. Especially of the so called solar plexus or also known as the 3rd chakra. 

I'm not a believer of this stuff but it is possible that all my stress joins at that place. It gives an annoying pain.

Tomorrow I have a session with my fysiotherapist.

Dog Days of Summer

In my next life I want to be a dog

Mind the gap

The one who always locks her bike everywhere!!!

For the first time in my life they stole my bike!!!

Life sucked big time this morning when I found out. 

It was the well known "De druppel die de emmer doet overlopen"

Kikki saw it from the bright side: "Mom, be happy that nothing happened with one of us"

And later on her bike on the way to school: "Dad, actually mom should be happy!" 

"Now she can buy a new bike wich is not so ugly as the one just been stolen."

A Different Turn

A friend made a movie for us. Simone (see link) portrayed us beautifully

It was filmed in winter 2011

Thank you Simone

LIFE is a BITCH

Yesterday evening, Rudi's Madness act with friend

(My head is full of madness right know)

The one moment you are standing in a wonderful garden celebrating someone's 50th birthday

the next moment you are in the hospital "kijken hoe de vlag erbij hangt"

Not good

Xeloda is also not doing what it's supposed to do

Again hope vanished too quickly

I WANT GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE

I want hope

I want something what will work for years

Not important but makes life a little better:

These uggs 

They should be paid by the health insurance.

The solution for my Hand-Foot Syndrome

But with stopping the Xeloda the syndrome and the blisters will stop as well

Time will tell

Another day at the office

Ruud and me went to the three weekly session with our psychotherapist.

It helps us!

Not that we don't talk at home 

but the therapist gets stuff on the table what otherwise is too difficult to talk about.

On our way back we biked through the park and drank a cup of coffee at "Het Blauwe Theehuis"

Nice moments with my hubby